Break time?

I am wrapping up another trip to Nashville, TN. It seems that my creative energy was left, sitting on my desk, at home, unpacked, sitting next to my ability to focus. I haven't been able to write anything since I got here. Oh well, you have to take a break from time to time, right? I'll be flying home today. So, maybe I can get back to it tonight or tomorrow.

Small hills in writing

I got over a small hill in my book. Plot points and intense scenes, I call them hills. That's how I view writing, like almost a roller coaster or walking through Ireland or something. There's parts that are downhill and really easy to write. Then there's parts that take a while to get up, like going uphill. Then, the inevitable parts where it's like clicking over the top of the hill or where you're winded and just about to the top.

Yesterday, I got over another one of those hills. I love it, because it's a thrill when I do. However, this is one of those that as happy as I am to be over that hill, it's a little scarier because there's several hills right in a row afterwords. I have some major plot points coming into play, and that's very cool to me yet very scary. I have to be on point to make sure that each part has the right amount of feeling conveyed.

Well, time to go take the kids to the daycare and go to a job interview. Here's to getting a job!

Inspiration and getting lost

Today was a banner day for writing, and seems the evening might carry the same tune. I have written some 15 pages, and I still have the writing bug. This makes me truly happy! I had several appointments and meetings, but instead of wandering or doing anything else, I dedicated my hands to my keyboard and my imaginations to the story.

I've been feeling inspired again lately, and this also makes me happy. I think it also helps that I've been listening to more music again. Music is a writing inspiration for sure. I've also been on a major Blue October kick again. I love that band! They should be more popular. It amazes me how many people don't know who they are or only know one of their songs.

Anyways, back to writing... I am in the middle of a really good part. I notice that I tend to slow down but write more frequently when I'm at an intense part. I sit at the computer longer, mostly staring at it and writing little here and little there. I want to make sure it's as beautiful, sad or intense as I am seeing in my mind and feel the part to be.

That's where I am at. It's a jumping off point to set up a pivotal part of the story. I love what I've done with it so far. I hope that one day I'll have "readers" and they love it, too!

Grammar. Love it.

Not only do I know the difference between 'there', 'they're' and 'their', but I also know the difference between 'to', 'too' and 'two'. Plus, the difference between 'your' and 'you're' & 'wear' and 'where'. Do you?

Literary Agents

Ok. I might have mentioned it before, I'm not sure. However, this entry is about literary agent or no literary agent.

As I research publishers and such, I see that many only take queries from agents, and the big houses only take them from agents, no exceptions. So, I don't know if I should be seeking a literary agent or just focus on publishers that accept queries from new authors without agents. Also, if I do go with one, should I go with an established agent? There's no degree for one, so can I just ask a friend that I trust that has some sort of intelligence to be my agent and team up from there?

I am really confused about this whole process. I just really want whats best for my book and will get it out there. Also, get me paid enough so I can devote my career time to writing more and allow me to be home with my kids.

What path do I go down? Anyone have any suggestions?

Back at it

I did some research this morning for the book. I hadn't written for a few days due to needing to find something online and it's details. I actually had stopped half way through a sentence. You see... the places I refer to in my books are real places, and I try to research them before putting them in my books so they're realistic. Despite the book being fiction, I like the 'I can relate to that' aspect a real place brings.

Research down and details gathered, I am back at it. (Hence the title of this entry.) I wrote another few pages this morning while waiting in line to get some job leads from a job specialist. Yeah, yeah... Until I get to publishing a couple books that make it out there, I still have to find a joby type job to pay the bills.

So, I'm motivated again. I'm writing, and when I'm not, I'm wanting to. I am also debating looking into getting an agent. I don't know if this is necessary, and if it will slow down the process or if it's going to be a benefit. So, I'm trying to think it through. I just know I need to make a move in one direction soon. there's no reason to sit on a perfectly good manuscript.

Until then, I'm writing. Oh, and I have a job interview today. i need to go finish getting ready!

Restless

Ok, so tonight, I am restless. I have been rather productive this evening despite my day's beginning. I woke up this morning at 6am and couldn't get back to sleep. So, I came out into the living room and watched "She's All That", five episodes of the original "Beverly Hills 90210" and a looong episode of "Dirty Jobs". I then showered and took my girls to a holiday party.

However, on the way home, we stopped at the store and bought things to make sugar cookies. When we got home, I set up the rest of the holiday decorations, cleaned the dining room, some of the living room, did a load of laundry, cleaned up the kitchen and sorted out a couple more boxes.

Then, the girls and I got the kitchen aide stand mixer out and made sugar cookies. While they loaded up about 2/3 of the cookies with an ungodly amount of icing and sprinkles, I started dinner and loaded the dishwasher. Now, a few minutes from dinner being done, I am trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my night.

I am itching to write some, but I am also thinking I am tired and not looking forward to tomorrow (with a huge list of things to do tomorrow) that I might just want to watch a movie. I also want to keep cleaning. So, the torn aspect of figuring out what I'm going to do with the rest of my night makes me feel restless.

Ok... that's all I got for now.

A woman's week at the gym

If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.
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Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

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MONDAY:Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Belinda was e ncouraging as I did my sit-ups , although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

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TUESDAY:I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.

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WEDNESDAY:The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush o n the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.

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THURSDAY:Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes.

Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny bitch to find me.

Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.
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FRIDAY:I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.

Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn bar bells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

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SATURDAY:Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

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SUNDAY:I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little shit) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

My first

I am starting a blog. I am sure it's some years too late to be cool, considering that most of what I do technology wise is usually behind the times. I don't think I had my first DVD player until 2003. Actually, thinking back, I don't think I had my first CD player until 1997? So yup, I am a waiter, and I don't mean server. I wait. I won't get or do the next biggest technology item until it's proven to work right or the hype had dimmed down, with rare exceptions.
So, my blog. I know blogs started to be big some years ago. Some have taken to them, and some have ignored the concept completely. Me? I've thought about it from time to time, but I've not taken to the concept until now. 'Why now?' you ask. Well? That's a good question. Maybe it's that in the scramble of chaos that is life right now, I'm feeling more lonely. Maybe it's that I watched 'Julie and Julia' the other day, and it inspired me. Maybe I feel I need an outlet for my feelings. Oh wait! I think it's that I just don't have enough to do, and I need a time filler. (That last one was sarcasm.)
I am sure it's many reasons.
What is the purpose behind my blog? Well? Another great question. I am going to write about my life as a typical woman in today's USA. I was recently described by a friend as followed: Colleen, you are the oddest person I have ever met, and I don't think my life would be the same if I had never met you. On one hand, you're the most unique person I've met, but on the other hand, I don't know a single woman that can't relate with something about you and your life. So, we're drawn to you.
I started evaluating my life after hearing this. You know, I don't know if she's right, but I do see this: I am a single mother of two beautiful girls. I have made both great and horrid decisions in life and try desperately to learn from them. I have people that are close to me that make me happy and frustrate the heck out of me. I am trying to restart my life in a time when the economy isn't really conducive to this. Plus, on top of all of this? I am chasing my dream. I am writing.
In the 80's this would all have been MUCH easier. However, it's the end of 2009, and life is harder in the US. Yet, I am a person that has always known there is a way to do and get what I want if I truly wanted it and felt I deserved it. So, instead of staying where I wasn't happy, I am taking the dirt road and doing my best to come out the other side clean and still in one piece.
Right now, I am sitting on a stack of applications (literally, they're right under my behind. Something tells me it's my subconscious mind trying to throw a blow at them considering I don't truly want to work at any of those places.) I am looking for a job to support my girls on my own. Also, I am staring at the 2009 version of "The Writer's Market". My first book is finished, and I am working on the second while I am sending out query letters to publishers. You know, the whole chasing your dream thing. However, I, unlike many people these days, do believe that dreams can come true.
In closing. This is what I will be writing about. I aim to document the struggles I encounter while looking for a job in these times. How hard it is going from being a stay at home mom to a single mother. And going after my dreams at age 31. Yup, 31.
I guess what I see is good about the age thing is that's when you hear of people really doing it. You always hear 'so and so had been in a stuck life for so many years and at 30something, they just stumbled onto what is now making them happy and providing comfortable for their new life'.
In closing, I hope you enjoy reading this and either see it as a way to get to know me and stay informed about my life or as maybe a motivational item. I mean, it's easy to let life drag you down. Trust me, I am pretty optimistic about things by nature, but I have days that I don't want to get up. However, I usually drive right past that feeling into working harder to get what I want... usually.
Sure, many people say, 'don't post about your life online. It's no one else's business, and it just causes drama.' Well, then I say, don't read it. -And have a nice day.